).
Anyway so Wednesday he loves me wants me back blah blah blah. Not interested and told him as much. Turns out he's fallen out with his girlfriend (same one he cheated on me with!) He slashed her tyres (yes really!) smashed up his own tv and all because she is a bit paranoid...hmm wonder why!!
Well thats by the by because he was meant to have our children this weekend and apparently can't as he has to sort things out with her. Now on Weds he told me she'd gone back to her home town but suddenly today she is somewhere else. Doesn't really matter where she is as the point is to me that surely NOTHING should be more important than seeing them??? This has been going on for days so why does it have to be apparently sorted out when he is meant to have them? Also after talking to his mum(who him and his gf live with) she seemed to think he was out with his friend and wasn't supposed to be having children?? Sorry if this is confusing!!
So where do I go from here? This is just something in a very long line of stuff. The children are understandable upset and I am sick of making excuses. Its having an effect on everyones lives and I am at my wits ends.
Well thats by the by because he was meant to have our children this weekend and apparently can't as he has to sort things out with her. Now on Weds he told me she'd gone back to her home town but suddenly today she is somewhere else. Doesn't really matter where she is as the point is to me that surely NOTHING should be more important than seeing them??? This has been going on for days so why does it have to be apparently sorted out when he is meant to have them? Also after talking to his mum(who him and his gf live with) she seemed to think he was out with his friend and wasn't supposed to be having children?? Sorry if this is confusing!!
So where do I go from here? This is just something in a very long line of stuff. The children are understandable upset and I am sick of making excuses. Its having an effect on everyones lives and I am at my wits ends.
Life is as easy as you make it and he is making mine very difficult.xx
It's hard I know, I've been there.
ReplyDeleteJust remember that he's letting the children down and they will remember that when they're older. Like when they're old enough to say thy don't want to see him on such-an-such a day because they have other plans. Or at their weddings.
Neither encourage nor discourage your children from seeing their father. and definitely don't ever say anything bad about him when they are within earshot.
Anytime you need to blow off steam, make ABSOLUTELY sure they can't possibly hear you.
Don't make excuses for him to your children.
Don't try and understand what's happening or to keep track of what is where.
Just keep a diary of what arrangement was made when, and how it was changed/cancelled and by who.
Make sure your children have a full week and do ordinary "kid stuff", so they're not hanging around moaning and moping at the weekend when he doesn't have them or changes his mind/plans.
Maybe your children's father will learn to be a good dad in time, HIS loss if he doesn't, THEY have you.
Good Luck.
Claire
Hi Claire,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your reply. I wouldn't ever discourage them from seeing him as like you say I think they'll make their minds up when they are older. I am sooo careful not to badmouth him in front of them. Hard sometimes though!
I haven't and won't make excuses.
I've kept a diary since we split up of all of this. There have been many many incidences unfortunately.
When he hasn't had them I just make sure we do something else. Although sometimes it is nice for them just to chill out here without going here there and everywhere. (He lives 100 miles away).
I hope he does learn but honestly I just don't think he will. Hes not 100% bad and I don't doubt he loves them..they are just not his first priority whereas they will always be mine.
And you are right they will always have me.
Thank you. xxxx